Dream like a child

Now that we are adults …

Is life what you thought that it would be?

All of those plans you had before experience tainted you –

do they still exist?

I’m talking about those extravagant goals and lifestyles that you used to discuss with your friends before life got real.

I know I’m not the only one that thought it would be a little different than how it turned out.

Read: WTF is this?!

I sure thought I was going to be happily married with a household of children working somewhere that afforded me the luxury of an indoor pool at home.

For sure, by the time I reached this decade of my life.

Welp, divorce and lack of work experience cut those dreams short real quick.

Bye bye pool.

Hello, statistic.

At some point, I realized that this was a fantasy that could only be lived out on TV.

In other words, this goal was too big for me.

I quit.

As as result of this, I have noticed that my goals have gotten a WHOLE LOT safer.

At one time I found myself praying just to get into an entry level position.

As the not-so-proud owner of a mortgage worth of student loans, I was praying for entry level.

Damn.

One time when I was single, I would make safe prayers about the type of type of man that I wanted.

God send me a man.

That’s all.

Just a man.

And let me tell you something – it worked!

I set the safe goals and got exactly what I asked for.

An entry level job and a man.

Whooooooa!

(that was a sarcastic whoa, you hear what I say?)

But how ironic is it that these same things I had once prayed for had now began to sadden me?

The entry level position had me feeling like I wasn’t doing enough.

It made me feel like I was selling myself short.

It didn’t feel good to my soul.

I knew I deserved more than that.

And that man?

he was just that – a man.

Nothing to even write about.

And I knew I deserved more than that, too.

But these were Answered Prayers, though.

That’s all I asked for.

But I was not the least satisfied.

And I was low key mad at myself.

You know why?

Because I knew better.

I am confident in my ability to achieve my goals.

I am confident that if I ask something of myself, that I will work hard until I get.

And most importantly,

I have a relationship with The Creator.

And We talk often.

So why go so safe?

Tip: Dream like a child. Set goals like an adult.

I’m still working on this.

But I can tell you that I have gotten a lot better.

For one, I began being more specific in those things that I wanted to attract to my life.

Instead of seeking out entry level position, I began to go after the things that motivated my soul.

Even if they were bigger than me.

And I knew that there were certain qualities that I desired in a man – so I asked for those too.

And got him.

What not to do: Don’t count yourself out.

Ok, ok Ci – maybe not the indoor pool.

But one it that backyard will do.

From where I am right now, that will be some work.

But, I intentionally put myself in spaces that I feel too small for.

So I can grow.

I’m more specific with my prayers.

So I know how to move.

And each day I grow and learn.

Cus in the big picture, I am still a child.

+ Ci Ci +