Wanna know the truth?

I’m tired of being fucking pregnant.

I want my body back.

I want to see my vagina.

I want to shave.

I want to wine my hips.

I want to light a L.

I want to show up to a club and back this thing up on somebody’s son.

I miss swimming.

And fucking.

And sleeping on my stomach.

I want to put my waist beads on.

I don’t wanna go to the bathroom so much.

I want to go back to one pill a day for HIV.

Ready to put regular clothes back on.

Jeans and shit.

Tights with a shirt long enough to cover my camel toe.

I wanna suck my stomach in.

And not waddle through the store.

I want my hips to stop hurting.

And to be able to take ibuprofen again.

I got enough muscles to carry heavy shit.

But noooooo. You can’t do that cus you pregnant.

I wanna fly on airplanes.

And drop it like it’s hot.

Throw some shots back randomly cus I’m bored.

The cat litter box ain’t been the same since I was able to tend to it.

And I want one of those good massages where they don’t have to be so careful around your midsection.

I want to be able to have the option of turning down the gym because I’m being lazy.

Instead of it not being recommended because – you know.

I used to like garlic and onions on my shit.

And my feet was big. But they wasn’t swole.

I want coffee in the morning.

What not to do: Don’t pay me no mind.


Just the fact that I was able to acknowledge all of the stuff I ain’t been doing because of baby girl kinda makes me proud.

I’m doing this shit.

I’m carrying a whole nother girl human.

And no matter how uncomfortable this is, I would do it all over again for a chance to meet her.

Pregnancy has been one of the most beautiful, confusing, exhausting, miserable, exciting things I’ve ever been pleased to partake in.

And I’m grateful.

Tip: Just because it doesn’t always feel good doesn’t mean it isn’t a blessing.

I just ain’t gone be one of those ones that lie and tell you it’s been a walk in the park.

Cus it ain’t.

It’s a hike.

A journey.

A trek.

But on the other side is life.

And that’s kinda lit.

+Ci Ci+