I’m tired of being fucking pregnant.
I want my body back.
I want to see my vagina.
I want to shave.
I want to wine my hips.
I want to light a L.
I want to show up to a club and back this thing up on somebody’s son.
I miss swimming.
And sleeping on my stomach.
I want to put my waist beads on.
I don’t wanna go to the bathroom so much.
I want to go back to one pill a day for HIV.
Ready to put regular clothes back on.
Jeans and shit.
Tights with a shirt long enough to cover my camel toe.
I wanna suck my stomach in.
And not waddle through the store.
I want my hips to stop hurting.
And to be able to take ibuprofen again.
I got enough muscles to carry heavy shit.
But noooooo. You can’t do that cus you pregnant.
I wanna fly on airplanes.
And drop it like it’s hot.
Throw some shots back randomly cus I’m bored.
The cat litter box ain’t been the same since I was able to tend to it.
And I want one of those good massages where they don’t have to be so careful around your midsection.
I want to be able to have the option of turning down the gym because I’m being lazy.
Instead of it not being recommended because – you know.
I used to like garlic and onions on my shit.
And my feet was big. But they wasn’t swole.
I want coffee in the morning.
What not to do: Don’t pay me no mind.
Just the fact that I was able to acknowledge all of the stuff I ain’t been doing because of baby girl kinda makes me proud.
I’m doing this shit.
I’m carrying a whole nother girl human.
And no matter how uncomfortable this is, I would do it all over again for a chance to meet her.
Pregnancy has been one of the most beautiful, confusing, exhausting, miserable, exciting things I’ve ever been pleased to partake in.
And I’m grateful.
Tip: Just because it doesn’t always feel good doesn’t mean it isn’t a blessing.
I just ain’t gone be one of those ones that lie and tell you it’s been a walk in the park.
Cus it ain’t.
It’s a hike.
But on the other side is life.
And that’s kinda lit.