She knows her angles, you hear me?

You ever get on your social media and start browsing through photos and then all of a sudden you get this sense of inadequacy?

Ok. So then try to imagine adding in the factor of living with this disgusting, nasty virus festering in your blood. 😫

First of all, in my mind, I am the only person in the land of social media who is HIV positive. I mean I gotta be. Ain’t nobody else talking about how they sick this morning because of the antiretroviral meds they took last night. No one else is talking about how high their viral load is. I mean, at least no one in my world.

But did you see that famous person wear that other famous person’s dress to that famous party on that famous website?

Yea. I saw that. 🙄

And I also saw:

Vacation photos

I bet you they didn’t have to check their baggage three times to make sure they have their life support.

Newborn baby pictures

I bet you that baby ain’t have to be forced to take no medicine in order to make sure their mom didn’t kill them as she was giving them life.

And party nights out.

These girls could be hoes tonight if they wanted to. They ain’t got to tell nobody nothing extra.

Log out Ci Ci

They ain’t real. There is NO way somebody is THIS happy ALL of the time.

So you know what I did?

I posted a happy picture every now and then. I smiled harder and most definitely at an angle so y’all couldn’t see my swollen lymph nodes bulging out the side of my neck.

Tip: Please do not go feeling up your neck. Just go get tested. Practice safe sex. Read this link (https://www.healthline.com/health/hiv-aids/swollen-lymph-nodes) to understand more fully what I’m going through. LEAVE YOUR NECK ALONE! 😘

Anyways, I cried myself to sleep at night and then woke up the next morning all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to head to a job that I absolutely HATED!

And then took another cute picture to post to social media so I could feel more like y’all.

But in my reality, I’m not. Y’all different. Y’all are better.

Why?

Cus y’all don’t have this damn virus

LOG THE FUCK OUT CI CIIIIII!!!!!

What not to do: Do NOT let social media trick you into thinking it represents everyone else’s reality.

+ Ci Ci +