Right story, wrong book

You ever met a real life grinch?

Somebody that, no matter how bright of a smile you flash them, they always respond with their resting asshole face?

Yup, I met one.

For months straight, I worked with this man and had pretty much made it up in my mind that he didn’t like me.

But I couldn’t figure out why!?!

I never did nothing to him. I barely even knew his name.

I was just being polite and shit, dammit! 🙄

This was all until one day I caught him in the kitchen by himself.

This negro gone talk to me ta-day.

It was just me, him, and the refrigerator behind the closed doors of the eating area, so I figured if I was going to say something – there would never be a better time.

So that’s what I did.

I gave him the same intro I give everyone else about Healing Is Voluntary:

Heeey Mr. So and So. I hope that I’m not bothering you but I wanted to tell you that I am writing a blog about my experience living with HIV and would love for you to check it out. Here is the website addres-

It was here that Mr. So and So’s face lit up.

Me too!

he whispered a little too loud out of his excitement.

Yoooooo!!! Mr. So and So got HIV!!!

I LOVE moments like this.

Just 3 minutes ago I thought this man couldn’t stand my presence and now we best friends? At least I know we are. He just don’t know yet.

In real life, meeting someone else living with HIV is like this instant camaraderie.

It’s great.

Isn’t that weird though? I’m happy that someone else has it.

Nah, that’s not what it is.

When I meet someone else with HIV, I’m always interested to know what their support system looks like.

This is because I know how much of a strain contracting this virus can put on those around us. You could start losing people who you thought would be there. That shit hurts.

Mr. So and So expresses that he has close to zero support because he has only told his 3 closet family members. And now me.

So that makes TWO people he knows with the virus, including himself. How wretched.

In addition to the support, I’m also always interested to know about the person’s relationship status.

Virus or no virus, most of us yearn to be loved. But with the virus, we often give up because who would want someone with HIV?

Tip: Y’all wouldn’t believe how many people don’t turn down intimacy because of the other person’s positive status. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. Yessss, there is hope!

As we stood in the kitchen and talked that day, he confided in me that he had given up on love.

By now, y’all should know me: I ain’t letting that mess fly.

Come on Mr. So and So. Let’s be reasonable, man.

So you gone give up on love why?


Well, I motivated, encouraged, and inspired the hell outta that man that day.

I know, because he told me.

And that’s what I do cus I know it’s so many of us hurting out here.

Let’s heal.

Mr. So and So, if you are reading this please know that, for one – you are the bomb.

Please know that you are the same person now that you were before this virus. Probably even better.

Mr. So and So, it is ok to reach out to other people living with the virus. They have Facebook groups and dating sites and shit. Create a fake name if you have to, I understand you don’t want nobody to know.

I’m sorry I thought you were a grinch.

I’m sorry I took your mean face personal.

You’re actually really awesome and I can tell you have a good heart.

What not to do: Don’t judge a book by the cover. I know it’s cliche but it fits. This dude (the book) was hurting (his true story), not angry (the story I made up for him).

Mr. So and So, let’s do lunch one day or something. Those family members who you told about your situation can’t possibly understand what you are going through.

They can sympathize but probably not empathize.

We could talk about how we gone find you a date or sum’n.

+ Ci Ci +