How not who

What makes you gay?

I’m asking because I really don’t know.

Society be confusing me.

What I DO know is that, overall, we seem to have a huge problem with it if someone identifies this way.

To be honest, I grew up thinking that homosexuality was a taboo concept.

My culture doesn’t really seem to fancy the lifestyle.

And those same ideologies were, nothing less than, shoved down my throat.

From the closet homophobic family members at home to

those who used religion to justify their judgment of others in places of worship.

I just knew that homosexuality was wrong and a sure-fire way to get to Hell.

In no way am I trying to knock anyone for believing the way that they do…

I’m just trying to understand something.

What makes you gay?

It must be a big deal if most of those who oppose it feels that it will come with all of these negative implications.

Is it the attraction to someone of the same sex?

Like, if I look at a booty, and I think it is a nice booty is that enough for me to check off “Lesbian” on the demographic section of a survey?

Or what if I “experimented” with someone of the same sex one time, does that still count?

(Take it one step further – would you answer the same way if I were a guy? 😬)

I think the point that I am trying to make here is that it is extremely hard to try and place our sexuality in one box.

It’s too much pressure.

Plus, we can’t even get the definition together.

To be honest, there was a time when I questioned my own sexuality.

But I was too afraid to speak on it.

I knew that once those thoughts escaped my mind through my lips that I wouldn’t be able to take them back.

There would be that label that came with it that I was too ashamed to accept.

And I was for sure that someone I loved would disagree with my curiosity.

So I kept the feelings to myself.

But I couldn’t help but wonder if there were no external pressures, would I be the one running around with the heteronormative narrative?

With the absence of religion and tradition, probably not.

Tip: Love is love.

As an adult, I have began to unlearn all of the slick ways I was taught to judge and hate other human beings for dumb stuff.

I have learned how to address the things in me that may be triggered by someone else’s lifestyle.

Cus if someone else’s sexuality affects the way that you treat them – I’m sorry to break it to you but you, my friend, are the problem.

Not them.

What not to do: Don’t miss your blessings trying to correct someone else’s life.

Remember, we were only instructed to love.

Not to ridicule.

Or turn our noses up.

Who knows?

That flamboyantly gay individual that is being despised probably has a much purer soul than the one doing the so-called judging.

And at the end of the day, what do you think will matter more?

WHO we loved or HOW we loved?

To me, the “how” matters so much more here.

+ Ci Ci +